Rejection: A Powerful, All Encompassing Word
It can come in many forms ...
POSTED BY VIVIENNE DOCKERTY ON 26/10/2015 @ 8:00AM
Rejection can come in many forms and can cause a sense of despair from cradle to grave. As humans we need to feel good about ourselves and rejection can completely destroy our self-worth and affect our entire lives ...
Rejection comes in many forms, but the trick is to not let it grind you down!
In childhood, the birth of a younger sibling can take away that feel-good factor that had been enjoyed with your mother from birth. No longer are you the one who is the centre of attention; a cuckoo has landed in the nice warm nest.
At school, learning to socialise with your group of peers and finding you are not the 'cock of the walk' like you thought you'd be. A courtship, when the person you fell in love with decides to move on, or a couple divorcing after many tumultuous years. Job interviews, university places ... there are many more scenarios I'm sure.
Personally, I have battled with rejection since I was a toddler. Never good enough, never a shining star in the eyes of my parents and a butt of my father's anger for many years. I have learnt now not to expect too much loyalty from my family or my fellow man.
However, in recent years I was pleased to have found that I was good at something. Judging by the volume of the books I have sold, my self esteem has grown and I can hold my head up high with the rest of the story tellers.
At this time of the year, my thoughts have been directed to finding Christmas craft fairs which are a good way of selling my author copies, especially as a present for an older granny or Mum. I have never found it difficult to be invited along to these events before, but I'm wondering if one or two organisers are being a bit picky in their selection of people to hire their stalls?
Last week I was told that I "didn't quite fit" into their perception of being a crafter. So I looked up the word in the Oxford Dictionary and found that "a crafter... makes in a skilful manner. Handcrafted jewelry, a superbly crafted novel, etc".
People ask me "why would you want to hawk your books around craft fairs when you must have a marketing department at your publishers?"
Yes, it is true that there is a marketing department, but only limited marketing to the press and magazines, done before a publication. After that, unless you are a bestseller like a celebrity selling their story, you're on your own. It is like a game of spinning tops, take your eye off the title and the book will sink into oblivion. Besides, I like the buzz and congeniality of these bustling fairs.
I've tried to do my own marketing in the media and publications and I have a list of rejections to show for my pains. I've had many promises from pleasant sounding editors - who said a review of my latest novel will appear in their monthly magazine - then had their promise turn to dust when something more interesting comes on the scene.
So the trick to life I've found is not to let it grind you down. Be like my main character in "A Woman Undefeated" available from Troubador Publishing and Amazon and rise above the rejection as best you can.
Until next time ...
Since arriving back in the U.K I have enjoyed meeting lots of people at the Author Talks and book signing events that I have been invited to. It has been great connecting with my roots again and listening to other people's stories whilst I have been doing research for my next book.
A big thank you to all the readers who have posted Amazon reviews after they have finished one of my books.