Negativity: What's Wrong With It?
It happens to us all ...
POSTED BY VIVIENNE DOCKERTY ON 14/09/2015 @ 8:00AM
Over the years, various people in my life have accused me of negativity. The word can be used in some very hurtful situations or to remind that person that their glass can also be half full ...
It's not possible to be happy all the time, we need negativity in our life sometimes!
copyright: luismolinero / 123rf stock photo (licensee)
In my case, I will hold my hands up to being a glass half empty kind of person and have to remind myself of all the positive things in my life on a regular basis.
Years ago, when I was in my early twenties and suffering an abusive relationship in an ill thought out marriage, I never dreamt that one day I would have a life that, in my mind at that time, I could never attain.
"Negativity ruled supreme in my world!"
That was, until one day, I did something that pulled me up short and made me realise I could no longer live that way. If any of you've read my book 'Innocence Lost', you will know what that catalyst was and why it made me change my life!
So I dumped my husband, went to Night School, got my O'levels, found a good job, then tracked down someone I was close to a number of years earlier.
I'd always felt happy in his company and he made my world seem full of love and light. Why I'd not married him in the first place, I just don't know, but after 42 years together, it doesn't seem important anymore.
Contrary to popular opinion, people cannot be happy all of the time and people do sometimes need a healthy dose of negativity in their lives to help them appreciate the good times.
Years ago, I was a master at withholding my real feelings and often fell back on the stereotypically British 'stiff upper lip', but in this day and age, one of openness and authenticity, I felt encouraged to come out of my shell and share my thoughts.
Over the years, when people have ended their friendship with me, they've had many reasons they see as entirely justified. I've received comments such as:
"I only want to be surrounded by happy people. I can't stand negativity"
"If you can't be positive, I don't want to know you anymore"
"I am fed up with your negativity, don't bother me again"
"I don't want you in my life, I hate your negativity!"
All quite rude things to say, and they hurt me a lot.
So what can be done to earn those valuable 'brownie points' and lead a positive life if I want to be friends with these modern day thinkers? Well, nothing really! All I can do is be there for them if they need a shoulder to cry on or when they have a blip in their own 'positive' lifes.
"It's true that at times like these, you find out who your real friends are!"
Yes, I can have a negative view of the world at times, but so can everyone else and I am very lucky to have a loving husband and three wonderful friends I can rely on at all times who just take me as I am.
Until next time ...
Since arriving back in the U.K I have enjoyed meeting lots of people at the Author Talks and book signing events that I have been invited to. It has been great connecting with my roots again and listening to other people's stories whilst I have been doing research for my next book.
A big thank you to all the readers who have posted Amazon reviews after they have finished one of my books.